Said that you’ll remember
September, humming Earth Wind & Fire. Whatever, it’s the best September song, in the same way that Summer Breeze is cheesy for 11 months of the year but in July sounds just right coming from open car windows. I celebrated the end of August with a trip to Falmouth for a coworker’s cookout, an hour and a half (!) drive. I seriously live out in the middle of nowhere, now. I also sing “fuck the women in Wellfleet” all the time — “heed my words and take flight.” Thanks, Vampire Weekend.
Yesterday I had a pajama day. Sunday, I was on four hours of sleep and I came home and passed out. I needed a day of recovery because being SOCIABLE is hard work.
I actually did put clothes on over my pajamas when I took Baxter for the world’s quickest loop around the neighborhood. But mostly I had the laziest of lazy days and it was lovely. I read more of Scarlett Thomas’ The Seed Collectors, which is amazing. I liked it all along and then I hit the Outer Herbides section and transformed from liking it to adoring it. It’s hitting all those Scarlett Thomas buttons for me, where the book is answering the questions I didn’t know I had. How we see the world. What matters. How hard it is to be a kind person. How hard it is to do what you know what you should. Things are complicated, people are imperfect. I LOVE it.
I stepped outside into the surprisingly cool air yesterday morning (6 am wakeup, thanks dog) and looked up at the sky and wondered, when I look back, how will I remember this year? Is it the year of heartbreak? Yeah, probably. A year I tried new things, definitely. But also a year I curled closer in on myself, closed off. But then a year I moved, found my own space, used my own voice. It’ll be an odd, hard year to remember.
But also it’s a year when I’ve recorded more. I’ve written a lot. Taken a lot of pictures. Done some pretty good things. Liked myself more.
Who knows; it’s only September. The world can change between now and … ever.