Sailors take warning
There was a red sky this morning, high scudding clouds and low racers flying across them. The trees are mostly bare, except pines and stubborn oaks. I saw a comet on my drive home the other night, one of the Leonids, a flash and streak of blue before it burned out.
I’m run down and weary. Maybe I’m fighting something off, maybe I’m just stressed out. I’m back to only wanting to curl up and watch stupid videos (twitch streams mostly) at night and be asleep before 10. I know part of it is just transition. Part is just November.
November, when it’s not yet the cold clear of winter, but after it’s the pretty fall. Brown and olive and drab everywhere you look. Low skies. Temperatures up and down and I go to bed freezing but wake up hot. And I’m just sad. It came back in a wave. When I’m stressed my defenses are down and it creeps back in. Did it think I forgot?
I had a stress dream: relieving the last week, trying desperately to change things, but the outcome was always the same. The next night I dreamed of a zombie outbreak, of hiding desperately, pretending to be dead, finally giving myself away in a bid to protect someone else.
I just need to get inspiration back. Steady breaths.